I was on a coaching call when I realized that my love life was leaking into my business.
I became aware of an inner wound – this deep feeling of not being chosen or wanted.
And I discovered what the actual problem was in my business. I found the original wound – the first person who didn’t choose me…
And I realized how I was re-creating not being chosen by the few men I’d ever given my love to – I realized that the little girl in me was wanting to be healed of her father who left her and didn’t choose her.
So I attracted people who made me feel not chosen like my father did – hoping that one day they’ll change (i.e. Hoping one day my father would choose me. Hoping to change my past.)
Let’s do the backstory bit:
I was on a group coaching call with Sade Coleman, we were diving into my fears around pricing and harming clients. We dove into past situations where I felt harmed. The call went well, I got firmer in what I do, what I charge for it, and why.
But then we dived even deeper into a need of mine to over give in order to be validated. (Hence charge lower, get the hit of people who don’t value me still buying from me because I lowered my standards.)
Changing myself in order to be chosen by my potential clients…
It all comes back to wanting to feel chosen.
It all comes back to my daddy wound. To my own healing.
(As do most things do in our businesses)
And so with this revelation – I dove deeper into the other places where I was needing to be chosen.
I dove into my relationships with men where I would get desperate, wanting to be chosen by the wrong people. Where I would abandon my worth and keep trying to change myself to fit the image of people who weren’t able, for one reason or another, to honor me.
I took note of where I was sacrificing my needs – literally over giving, over compensating in order to be chosen. Where I was putting everyone else above myself – when no one else was doing the same for me.
And I realized that when I was acting from that energy – I only became more invisible to the very people I was trying to be seen by (because that is how I felt, invisible)
Which leads me to the three reasons why your clients may be overlooking you: (Click here to watch the vlog.)
1. You need them in order to feel validated and good enough.
Which means each time you post – its not until you have the clients, the likes, the testimonials, the validation in order to be confident and LOUD about your services and product. You mention it once or twice but when you don’t get the external validations, you silence yourself.
2. You need them to feel chosen.
So you keep charging less than what you actually need to feel good about what you are doing. You keep selling in ways that don’t feel good. You keep changing who you really are in the hopes that someone else will come along and mark you worth being chosen.
But will that even be you who is being chosen in that case ?? If you had to change for it??
You are already worth it. You don’t need anybody to make that true.
3. You are afraid to stand in your worth because you are waiting for a certain income level or external metric to feel good enough.
And this energy leaks all into your content. We can tell that you doubt your power. We can tell that somebody, somewhere has convinced you to doubt what you are doing.
So I want you to do something for me – and dive a bit deeper.
Figure out the places where the problems you are having in your business are not actually about your business.
Look for the patterns. Work with someone. Figure out what is actually off – because most of the time it is about more than ‘people won’t pay me what I want’.
And if you want to dive even deeper into your power and re-discover the worth and power beyond the past – join me in my 4 week course and mastermind The Empress Initiation.
I will be giving you the energetic and practical tools to help you heal your business. This is literally the tip of the iceberg.
The Empress Code is how you monetize yourself in this world. It’s stepping back into your sovereignty and the power you knew before ‘life’ happened.
And you will learn the Code in The Empress Initiation.
See you soon <3